Bye Christmas ; Hello New Year!!

Christmas 2010, were my first time of my life celebrating on it. Well, rather not to mention about the dissatisfaction. I kinda love that night i hold my baby's hand... feel so warm...A hope in this semester holiday, i wish my baby will be happy, enjoy her holiday and getting well soon. Wish my baby won't get tired so easily and give me a call every night before sleep , just like the couple months when we begin our relationship. With my baby's voice, i can sleep easily; With my baby's voice, it colors my day; With my baby's voice, i get back my appetite; Lastly, with my baby's voice, i am energized !!!

♥Ranking Num#1 on Christmas picture !!♥

Everyone has a Christmas wish. In my first Christmas in my life ever, i wish to have a car for me. This should be my next year wish. But, i will buy myself a car as a Christmas present on the Next year Christmas . Any asset belongs to myself will be easier for me to execute my own plan :)

The coming celebration will be the New Year for 2011 !! I don't know what to do since baby will celebrating New Year with her family, so i make a decision to go KL, alone. Actually, i got no idea where to go. I just want to see and feel the happiness on everyone's face. And maybe it is an excuse for me not to pass any celebration alone... Somehow when everyone is enjoying , i wish my baby is beside me...Just like the others....

♥Muack !! Are you kissing me or biting me ?♥

~End~

A Day Before Christmas Eve

A day before Christmas Eve, as usual, without baby beside me, i miss her so much. But. i found out i made a mistake again. Perhaps, the mistake + distance, baby won't give up on me. I kinda worry, i worry baby will feel boring of annoyed with the attitude of mine.. and end up with cold war between us.. i don't want the same consequence happen again. Hmm.. baby today moody in sms, i wonder what happen makes baby moody for the whole sms. I am not the one who makes baby moody right ? You can tell me if you want . I mean, anytime. This few days i keep thinking the happy moment between us. Quite happy when i think about it ^^

Today i went to Taiping Sentral choosing Christmas present, cyber cafe, and a few banks. Xuan Yi seem moody as well.. Gosh...i got no idea how to chill this big boy d..feel like walk off that time as i felt pressure on that moment.

Yesterday i got some cash from mom's friends. I know i should be happy. But..i felt pressure as well.. I am not a good student, my result is sucks, my attitude sucks, when i got the money on hand, feeling like i am cheating people's money.

When i wake up later, will be the day to meet up with baby, kinda happy and sad at the same time. Baby, when you see this blog, can you personally talk to me about my problem ? Just tell me how many marks you deduct from me, what you not satisfy, and what you need me to change. Please, i need to know. Maybe you told me before, but sorry, let me know one more time.. :)

~End~

Christmas In My Heart

Two more days to Christmas eve.. i wonder what will happen in my first Christmas celebration. I wish i will have a memorable one. On the other side, i am addicted to her song>> Sarah Connor- Christmas In My Heart. Well..is not exactly her song, in a more accurate way, i am addicted to her voice. Such a sexy voice xD....

[Verse 1]
Every time we say goodbye
There's something breaking deep inside
I tried to hide my feelings to keep myself controlled
But somehow I can't deny what's deep inside my soul

I've been always on the run
So many different places, having fun
But like a river always knows just where to flow
Now that December comes I feel like coming home

[Chorus]
It's Christmas in my heart
When I'm with you
No matter where we are or what we do

Tomorrow may be grey
We may be torn apart
But if you stay tonight
It's Christmas in my heart

[Verse 2]
I don't know how to stay alive
Without your touch without you by my side
Just like the desert's always waiting for the rain
Oh baby, I wish the holy night would come again

[Chorus]
Everywhere I go and everyone I know
Is making lots of wishes for old Santa Claus
But all I really need tonight
Is for you to come and hold me tight
What is Christmas without you here by my side
I need you tonight

~Smile~

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -(W.C. Fields)

Saw this quote 2 days ago. It did bring me back. In conclusion, i stop thinking about our future, but i am not gonna forget it.

Yes, i know i have change since last week, i am not happy with everything around me, including you,baby.Maybe i feel like you not really care about what i want anymore. I started to feeling the difference compare with the time when we started our relationship.

But, it doesn't matter anymore...i will smile everyday to bring it over. Anyhow, it is just my own point of view:)I still remember our future deep inside my heart. I wish , i hope, and i want to be with you forever baby.

I still got half a year left to spend my time with friends and especially my baby in Kampar, i will appreciate it so much the life i been through in UTAR, although sometimes Kampar and Utar really freaking me out.

And, now is time for me to think about my future, my own future. I hope baby will work somewhere near to me, i hate distance. Maybe because i know myself kinda well, when i stress during work, i probably will neglect almost everything around me even my family, baby, and my meal.

I don't want this to influence our relationship. Since baby you think that distance is not a problem, then looks like i need to do something about my weakness. I need to overcome
it, and i need to make the worst assumption, which is baby won't stay in Malaysia because of me, maybe you will be at Singapore. Hmm..kinda sad when i think about it.

Since baby can't decide your decision, i will set my position to be at KL...at the middle of Malaysia..Hopefully you will get a job at KL as well ^^

That's it for today, tomorrow will be my plan on Christmas^^, Merry Christmas to all !!!

Dilemma

It's been a tough weeks i went through....I can't hold it anymore,yet i can't talk to u face to face about this. The only thing i can do is put this into a blog. I got no idea what will be your reaction when u get to see this post. Angry ? or started to hate me?

What i want to say is... Baby, I have been trying so hard to makes our future clear. Is Our Future. Every future decision i made is all related to you. Baby, do you ever think about it? It is not enough although we trust each other, we confidence to each other. When comes to reality, that trust and confident is just our internal strength. Don't forget we still got external threats. We can still influenced by distance, flirter, outsider, working style.

Baby, it's kinda hurt that when you told me your decision for intern. I wish to be under your consideration as well, i wish, somehow i wish that day, you will told me that because of me, you will choose a place to intern. Intern is just a short-term, i hope when you graduate, our distance will just within a state. I want our future to be a Confirm .

Baby, you remember that i told you before that i wish to be at Genting during christmas? You forget it. And you are so excited with your buddies. From that post, your msn personal message, i get to know that baby just very miss memory with buddies, i can understand that, how important they are to you. That's why i still can't decide whether want to go Penang or not. I don't want to be an extra person during that celebration. I want you to fully enjoy your day.

Somehow, i hate guys, i hate their flirt, i hate the way they flirt on girls, i hate the long-term tricks they use on girls. And girls are so stupid in this case and fall into their trap. That't why i don't trust others , not you baby.

I hate the girls sometimes. Very obvious for a guy's intention to flirt on them, but they can still go and reply them and chatting with them. Stupid, you girls are falling into traps, and..you still don't know what was going on.

Baby, perhaps what Xuan Yi said was right. I expose more to society, that's why i think too far. I am graduate soon and need to start making a picture on future before i can puzzle them, that's why i will put myself in stress. Maybe because of this, i relate my decision with you, putting you into future picture, you are definitely my future. Maybe because of this, a term came out my mind, stated that " If we want to have each other as future, we should at least think of each other before proceed a pace forward"....

In this moment, i really hate myself for can't resist myself to make decision solely based on myself..am going crazy...